Friends and Environments

Can anyone tell me what the attraction is to joining a club that is organised around complaining? I can understand things like comiseration societies that award themselves for the latest insanity done in regards to them. Sharing stories (and a bottle of wine) can be a very healing thing indeed.

But these snark communities....all I tend to see is folks bashing (for the most part) people that may not be as "hard core" as the membership seems to think they are.

And that is part of the rub for me. I see some of these things, and I wonder...where did they obtain this idea that they are hard-core? I have sat in conversation with some of these folks, and then I compare it to the ones that I have sat down with that really get it. The ones that get it are a hell of a lot nicer, and a lot higher quality that these idiots.

Where do they get this attitude from? The real ones I have had the pleasure of working with, of socializing with, of doing ritual with....they do not have this. And a few of them are KNOWN to have a sharp tongue in properly riled. I have even heard a few of them let out some rather choice commentary in regards to certain groups.

They tend to focus on the sort that tend to be the ones you find in the snark lists.

The "fluffies" are not the problem. Neither are the true traditionalists.

The problem seems to be the folks that think they get it, and they really are not embodying anything but the veneer. (and believe me, knowing a lot of lore can be just as much a veneer as any other thin bit of fluff.) The ones that get it, have it in their bones...in their blood.

Most of these snarks....do not have it at that level, or they would not be snarking the way they do, at the targets they choose.

I used to be a lot less "judgemental" of other's choice in friends. I used to base my judgement based mostly on my own impressions.

Unfortunately, I also have a history of setting myself up. You see, I tend to see the best potentials of people more than the actual probabilities that they will actually live up to them, or even try to live up to them. I have a history of basing my willingness to help (and befriend) others on this potential potential rather than the probable potential.

Nowadays, I look more to what company the person keeps, and then "run my analysis". I will still befriend someone that has some rather questionable friends...but I am a lot more cautious of this. It really depends on the sort of questionable. Some things I do not care to much about...but active malice and passive-aggressive tactics are things that will set me right off.

Just some thoughts as I get back to studying...(and I keep thinking there is something I have forgotten to check...)

Yep...I can see the sort of environment people want in their lives.

(glances at various credentials of folks)

I know the sort I want to be associated with. (Knowing a bit of the credentials of various folks)

Now, do not get me wrong...I am not one for "hero worship"...nor is it vital someone has tradition or books published....

But it does become apparent that some do indeed have more "right" to be crotchety and judgemental. They tend to have the respect of others of quality.

Look at the company they keep. I am not talking about the folks that happen to be in the community, nor am I talking about other that use the same "label"...I am talking about the ones that there are lines of respect between. I am speaking of the keystones, and the sort of environs they foster about them and in their homes.

What is the environment you want to have about you?