Hello, I am Sageti, Rialian's owner. I am very important. You must realize this. Everyone must realize this. I am so important, in fact, that there is not one thing that is more important than myself. Rialian is ok, but occasionally I have to partially dismember him to remind him that I am important.

I was found by a woman called Blue Candle, a good friend of Rialian's. I had to leave her because she already had a cat who made my quality of life unacceptable by trying to share my sovereign territory, open to none but myself. This had to end. I saw Rialian and decided that he was a one-cat man. That was when I rubbed against his leg and purred. Of course, he was immediately smitten with my great charm and impeccably exquisite appearance.

To ensure that I have the type of life I am entitled to by divine right, I have handed down the Five Commandments of Sageti, otherwise known as the Law of Fives. Here it is. Memorize it.

The True Law of Fives (forget all the other Laws of Fives you ever heard about, this is the One True Law of Fives).

First -- Thou shalt honor Rialian because he has been chosen by the Great Sageti to be His personal elf. Thou shalt do this by photographing Rialian as he performs the "YMCA" dance in his New Boots.

Second -- Thou shalt pay homage to the Great Sageti so He does not eat thee for dinner. Thou shalt do this by being available more Often than Not.

Third -- Thou shalt pet Him daily, feed Him with His favorite dishes, and water Him with Filtered Water, so the Great Sageti will be in the best of health for the duration of His stay on this Planet prior to returning to rule the Worlds.

Fourth -- Thou shalt ensure that the Great Sageti's litter box is Pristine as befits the Almighty.

Fifth and last -- Thou shalt always be available to open doors for Him and tell Him that He is the Greatest.

This is the True Law of Fives, which thou shalt always follow. Here is what Blue Candle, also known as Celena, said about my rescue:

"He was stuck under the floor at work. I was able to entice him out with a can of Tunafish and get him outside. He stayed around and looked kind of scruffy so I figured he was a stray. Two weeks and several cans of Cat food/Tunafish later, this wonderful creature was coming when I called him, begging to be petted, and trying to follow me every where. I took him to the Vet, got him his shots & had him neutered. He also had a severe wound in his hind end that needed suturing & draining (yuck). Sageti has completely recovered and has been adopted by a friend of mine."

(The friend was Rialian!) Celena shall of course be blessed of the Great Sageti for her great kindness to me. She shall never lack tunafish in this lifetime.

Write me.


Bits of my Reality